An Officer and a Gentleman
by Master Dark Capn
Summary: Captain Jack Sparrow has settled into his new life, until suddenly he hasn't anymore after an unexpected villain comes to stop him.
1. Chapter 1: The Beginning

**Pirates of the Caribbean**

**An Officer and a Gentleman**

**Chapter 1: The Beginning**

Jack Sparrow wondered what that sound was. It was a sound that he heard, and it was very annoying to listen to. He couldn't stop hearing it though because it was coming from a place where he couldn't stop hearing it. Jack Sparrow wondered where that sound was coming from. It was a clock and it was on the wall, saying "tick tock" repeatedly. "Good heavens, I shall be late!" Jack shouted from the top of his lungs, because he was going to be late. He walked mega-fast to the driver's seat of his big boat, and made it swim through the high seas to Port Royale.

Unfortunately, he never made it to the port, because along the way he became approached by another boat. But this was an even bigger boat, and it had lots more cannons, and a mean captain with a bazooka. "I dare say, this other boat shall be the death of me!" exclaimed Jack Sparrow in a desperate-yet-suave voice. "And I especially shan't be on time. What a conundrum."

Then the captain of the other boat shouted across the ocean to him and he said "You are a pirate and so that means I need to beat you!" And Jack looked at him and he was Commodore Norrington. "You are Jack Sparrow and I have a vendetta against you and you are driving the Black Pearl."

Captain Jack Sparrow explained "It is you, Commodore Norrington, but you fail to understand, for I have changed my ways and I no longer aspire to be a pirate and be drunk for I had AA and now I turned into a gentleman who is noble and wealthy and the Black Pearl turned into a legitimate trade boat, and I have a late shipment of gunpowder to deliver and if you fire on me the explosion will kill us both, good sir, I do say."

"That's CAPTAIN Commodore Norrington to you!" the bad man on the other boat said, but he wasn't interrupting because Jack Sparrow had already finished his sentence. "And besides, once a filthy pirate scum, always a filthy pirate scum, it's a scientific fact," and he showed him a chart that proved it. "And when I turned into a captain, I learned how to be more courageous and brave so I am not afraid of a little gunpowder. I will swim my boat excessively far away and shoot you from a spectacular distance, because I can aim just fine because my cannon has a scope like a sniper rifle!" he finished.

But what James Norrington didn't know was that Captain Jack Sparrow boarded his boat and now he was on his boat. "Ha ha, Mr. Norrington, now I am on your vessel which means boat rendering your scheme slightly useless." And he was correct, he had destroyed James Norrington's plan, but what he wasn't prepared for was that HE HAD A GUN!

"Now you are on my boat Jack Sparrow and I can shoot you without having an explosion! You fool!" But Jack Sparrow also had a gun which was his secret weapon and he took it out of his gun pocket and pointed it and aimed it at James and James saw it and was frightened because now it hard turned into a standoff. And what a standoff it was! It was incredible, but there was no action because it was a standoff and that means not doing anything.

The standoff lasted two days and two nights and they both became very hungry for food and since they were on a boat the hunger almost turned into scurvy, except it luckily didn't. Then Commodore James Norrington conked out. "At last, I do believe I have the upper hand!" said Jack and he whispered it super quiet so he wouldn't wake up the Commodore. Then he boarded back onto his own boat which didn't float away during the two days because it had an anchor. So he took out the anchor and drove his boat finally and drove his boat to Port Royale. Before he got there he had to go over many miles and kilometers of the ocean and it was very far but he got there just fine.

When he got there he delivered the gunpowder in the shipment to its recipient. It took a long time because it was in lots of barrels and he didn't have a handcart. He didn't spill any. But he thought about what Commodore James told him. "He even had a chart." he considered. "Maybe the good Commodore Jim was right and I am still a filthy pirate scum." He didn't feel too filthy because he had already showered that day and didn't want a stiff drink, not even rum. All his rum was gone and he hadn't bought more because he quit alcohol after AA. Anyway after two days without sleep he was sleepy so he decided to go home to his manor and have some sleep and he went there and he slept. Then he woke up too fast when he heard a knock at the door...


	2. There is a Mysterious Knock at the Door

**Pirates of the Caribbean**

**An Officer and a Gentleman**

**Chapter 2: There is a Mysterious Knock at the Door**

When we left off, there was a mysterious knock at the door.

"I say! There was a knock at the door and I do not know who was knocking at the door because I have not yet opened the door so I shall resolve this dilemma by opening the door and answering it." So he went downstairs and didn't trip over the eighteenth step and answered the door. There were that many steps because it was a manor, which is similar to a mansion.

When he (Captain Jack Sparrow) answered the door, it was just the milkman so Captain Jack Sparrow opened it and said "Hi," and accepted the milk and put it in the cooler and said "Thank you, old chap," and paid him with pounds because they don't have regular dollars in England and closed the door and went back to bed. He didn't trip on the first step either on his way back up.

When he woke up for keeps, he had breakfast in the kitchen but the milk was spoiled and rotten because he left the cooler door open. Also, all the ice in it was melted for the same reason as before. He had to have his cereal dry. He couldn't even pour booze or rum over it because he turned into no longer a boozehound. He also had needed to have black coffee because he was out of milk. He didn't pour coffee in his cereal. That would be gross. He wondered if maybe he was still a pirate as he ate the most important meal of the day.

After that, he went to the parcel shoppe to see if there were any deliveries for him to make on his boat which was The Black Pearl. The man at the counter said "Yes," and gave him 432 gallons of gunpowder in barrels to deliver to Spain. Captain Jack Sparrow turned into a very excited man/captain because if he made a delivery he would be paid a lot of pounds. This time it turned out he remembered his handcart so that saved some time.

He also departed on his yacht because the Black Pearl was a yacht now but it still had cannons. Later that day he got to Spain but first he was stopped on the way by a police yacht belonging to Officer James Norrington. "Ha ha! I have you now, Jackieboy!" shouted the police commodore. Except he was wrong because the other captain just went around and kept going until he got to Spain. He escaped fast because the Black Pearl zoomed because it turned out to be the fastest boat in the whole wide world. This time there wasn't even a standoff. Señor Norrington was furious with rage all over the place.

Jack Sparrow went to Spain and he got there and made his delivery to the king of Spain, called Rey, which is Spanish for king. The delivery was a disaster though. When Jack Sparrow was escaping from James, he secretly boarded him, and replaced his gunpowder with nothing. The barrels were now empty. Also some of them weren't, because he put rum in them. The gunpowder became dumped overboard like tea and that meant it was gone forever. It couldn't be salvaged because it was wet. Also Jack didn't even know where it was.

"You have robbed me blind, Mr. Sparrow!" Screamed the king of Spain, Rey. "You are nothing more than a filthy pirate scum!" Jack was sad.

"I say, sir! I do declare! It was an accident! In fact I didn't even do it, matey." said Jack Sparrow, and he noticed that he said "matey" and it occurred to him that he must perhaps be a pirate after all. "Curses," he thought, but accidentally said it out loud. The king Rey of Spain thought the sea captain was cursing him.

"Nobody curses me in my court! Not even anywhere else, either!" said the Rey calmly. "SEIZE HIM!" he explained to his guards. They did.

Meanwhile, the black Pearl was still parked in a dock. It wasn't double parked.

Meanwhile, Jack was in regular prison. There were bars and everything! And smoking was prohibited. HE found that matches wouldn't even light because the air was so damp. He didn't escape... yet.

AUTHOR'S NOTE: If you are a Commander Norrington fan, you probably shouldn't read the rest of this book, because he dies in the end.


	3. Chapter 3: Coming Out

**Pirates of the Caribbean**

**An Officer and a Gentleman**

**Chapter 3: Coming Out  
**

Jack Sparrow, Sr., was in jail, which was exactly where he didn't want to be at. He wasn't going to be there for all to long, though. Therefore he had already developed a plan to think of a way out. Now he was executing that plan and thing about myriads of ways out.

"Dearie me, indeed," thought Jack silently in his head where nobody could hear him. "A gentleman would not be escaping from out of prison, so I most likely probably must be a pirate!" This made him despair an eensy bit, because he did not want to be a pirate because pirates are bad because they shoot people and steal their buried treasure because they're selfish and greedy and mean.

Then the captain decided to look around. He did. The cell was a perfect cube because all of the walls and ceilings were the same dimensions, except one of them was made out of bars. The floor was the same size too. It isn't anymore because this story takes place a long time ago and the prison has been demolished since then to make room for a Burger King. It's called Burger Rey because Rey is Spanish for king.

Jack did not feel like a king though. The walls were figuratively closing in on him like a box that can shrink. He pondered about what he had done to deserve this, why the Rey of Spain saw it necessary to put Jack in the box, when suddenly a thought occurred to his mind. "Perhaps I drank some of the rum out of those barrels and got drunk and forgot what happened to the gunpowder, quite so!" he didn't say out loud, because he thought it instead. "That is an especially piratey thing to do." His confidence in his gentlemanliness sank. He became kinda sad.

That was when Captain Sparrow escaped. But it wasn't that simple. This is how Captain Sparrow escaped:

Suddenly, a prison guard finished walking up next to the front of the prison cell where Jack Sparrow was. The prison guard tried to feed Jack his lunch (it was lunchtime) but he accidentally tripped over something and fell and his gun pocket hit the ground and fired his gun and the bullet hit the lock on the cell box and Jack opened the prison door and Jack ran away. The diligent prison guard tried to chase Captain Jack Sparrow, but he couldn't because he was still stuck to the prison floor.

He repeated this masterful technique on the next six sets of prison guards but not the seventh. Instead of two more prison guards for a seventh set, Jack saw that he reached the prison stairs. Also the reason his trick kept working was that all the prison guards went to the same prison employee training sessions. Jack climbed almost all of the stairs out of the castle basement prison, then he climbed the rest of them. But he wasn't free yet! Above the basement was the rest of the castle.

Fortunately, he escaped from there too.

After he got out, Jackie-boy stormed as quickly as a horse (they didn't have cars) to his boat to go get some of the money. He needed to buy lunch, because the prison guard dropped his jail-lunch. Then he traversed to the nearest inn because hotels weren't invented yet. Back then, inns didn't have cable either, so he had to do without. That was when he saw the sign: "Happy hour, 6-8pm" just like Starbucks. He was tempted to go to the inn bar and have some beer or alcohol. He couldn't go to his AA sponsor for help, because Jack was in Spain and his sponsor was in England and there were no phones or Skype.

Captain Jack eventually decided right away that he would go to the inn bar bu only indulge in water. The water there was kind of gross, but it was non-alcoholic so he was allowed to drink it. AA meant that he couldn't have booze.

But at the bar, he ran into a familiar face, belonging to a familiar body...


	4. Chapter 4 Drinking Games

**Pirates of the Caribbean**

**An Officer and a Gentleman**

**Chapter 4: Drinking Games**

Captain Jack Sparrow was at the inn bar, when all of a sudden it turned out that Officer Norrington was also there, and had been for at least several hours. He was the familiar person that Jack Sparrow ran into at the end of the last chapter, when Jack ran into him. There he was, just sitting there on one of the chairs, the barstool kind of chair, when he turned around.

Lucky for our hero, he wasn't behind James Norrington. He was to his right, because of the oblong layout of the room, and that's where the door was. This meant that he didn't see Jack Sparrow, and so Jack Sparrow didn't become caught. "Blimey me!" thought Jack in his usual accent. "That was a close one wherein I could have been defeated against victory, I do say!" even though he didn't say because he was just thinking it.

This was exactly the demotivation that Jack needed to demotivate him from drinking beer and alcohol. Seeing his rival there convinced him to realize it was a mentally impaired idea. The sucky part was that he also had to leave the inn if Jack didn't want to get caught, even though he totally paid for the room legit and didn't like wasting money.

Jack Sparrow had two choices, and he didn't like one of them even more than he didn't like the other, but he had no choice but to pick the lesser of two bad choices, which was the choice to get back to his favorite boat called The Black Pearl and sail away to somewhere safer. So he did it.

Along the way, Captain Jack Sparrow passed past all sorts of places, and then he arrived to the dock where he left his boat at. Also, he didn't pass a blacksmith. Fortunately, it was still there. Sailboats don't have transmissions so he had no other option but to lift the anchor in order to take it out of "park". His ship was also tied to the dock, and when that happens you have to burn the rope or untie it to launch it off, so that's just what he did.

Now that he had rescued himself, the first thing on his mental checklist of top priorities was to rescue his name. His name, which was Captain Jack Sparrow, was going to become infamous again like it used to be when he was a pirate unless he did some tasks, such as getting Rey his king's gunpowder back and proving he wasn't the one who absconded away with it to begin with.

The captain of the Black Pearl had a strange feeling in his gut because he ate too much and in his heart for a reason that he didn't know why it was. It was a prediction deep in the innermost ventricles of his heart that something dangerous was waiting in lurking and hiding at his manor, but brains don't understand blood, just impulses. This prediction was verdad, which means right, so it was a good thing he wasn't going there anyway. He was going to look for the gunpowder barrels.

When he got where the gunpowder was, the Black Pearl wasn't a fishing boat, but it did have two fishing poles on it. Jack Sparrow solely needed one of them. The barrels were hard to bring up because they were covered on the inside with heavy gunpowder weighing them down. But that wasn't an issue because he was strong as a fox.

After receiving all the barrels out from underneath the bottom of the ocean from his fishing line (the one he used), he returned the barrels full of highly explosive gunpowder back to their rightful owner of the Rey-king of España, which means Spain. The Rey said "I'm sorry and thanks for a job well done," and Jack Sparrow responded while he said "I forgive you and you're welcome."

Now there was still the issue of what to do about Officer James Tiberius Norrington, who was apparently a corrupt police officer. It was such a big issue that he almost took care of it. But he was tired, so instead he ventured home into his manor to get some sleep. He deserved a rest, after such a long day.

Jack Sparrow's head hit the pillow almost as hard as a bowling ball hits a pillow. Meanwhile, he fell asleep.


	5. Chapter Five Awakenings

**Pirates of the Caribbean**

**An Officer and a Gentleman**

**Chapter 5: Awakenings**

Captain Jack Sparrow was rudely awakened by a sound. It was also the doorbell. Back then, they had the kind of doorbell where you have to pull the rope, sort of like a churchbell except for doors. It sounded like "ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding." It was then that Jack realized that he decided to wake up out of bed to answer the doorbell.

At the doorbell and the door was a constible officer. He was there to arrest Captain Jack Sparrow for stealing the barrel-powder of Spain cause he didn't know Jack Sparrow saved it from the ocean and finished the delivery. "Oh my word, and I wonder who doth be ringing at my door!" said the sea captain, because he didn't open it yet. And then he opened it and saw the police and it wasn't Commodore Norrington.

"You are not Commodore Norrington and how can I help you, fellow chap?" replied Jack Sparrow. Then the police also replied back "I am here to arrest you to jail." This turned Jack Sparrow worried, because he didn't do something wrong or anything else. He didn't even trip on the stairs when he went down them to get the doorbell! "Quite right," Jack didn't say, because it was actually quite wrong.

But the police took him to jail anyway.

When he got there at jail he met a new woman who wasn't Elizabeth because her name was Lashontra Rose. They had love at first sight but they didn't know and Jack Sparrow thought it was heartburn. They both had jail cells right next to each other so they could talk. Jack Sparrow said "A pleasure to meet you madam, for you see I am Captain Jack Sparrow." and she also introduced herself to him and said what her name was (Lashontra Rose).

Captain Sparrow felt a feeling and it was being enamored. She was also feeling the same feeling. They both felt also like they wanted to talk some more with more privacy so they had no choice but freedom so they had no choice but to escape. They decided to get out together while Jack Sparrow started thinking about plans.

Later, after they finished escaping, they ate out to dinner at the nicest restaurant England had back then. Jack paid for it with his money and not treasure. It was delicious but what they didn't know was that shellfish is an aphrodisiac! This turned them madly in love with each other and Jack Sparrow had to say "Wilt thou do me the honor of turning into my bride?" and Lashontra Rose said "yes" because dinner made them do it.

They decided to walk back to Jack's manor to laugh and chat on the way. It was very romantic and nice. When they got there Jack invited her into tea but she said "no" because she had a headache. Jack also thought he was disappointed but he didn't say anything because they didn't have Advil back then.

They parted ways for the night and Captain Jack Sparrow went upstairs to the bedroom without tripping. He was probably going to bed, but he tried, but he couldn't sleep. There were just too many things on top of his mind. Therefore, he decided to finish cleaning up his name so he would sleep after that.

When he showed up to the castle, and it was still night, he knocked at the door. It woke the king up, turning him annoyed in the process. When he (the king) answered the door, it was just Captain Jack Sparrow so the king opened it and said "Hi" and accepted Jack Sparrow's explanation what happened and put it in the official records and said "Thank you, old chap" and closed the door and went back to bed. He tripped on the first step on the way back upstairs but Jack Sparrow didn't see it since he got left outside.

Afterwards, Jack went home then he got home. Things were going to get a lot better and that made Jack Sparrow feel better because he knew it somehow and he could finally sleep soundly in his bed in his bedroom upstairs. That's why he went back upstairs and covered himself up with some blankets and sheets.

Suddenly, he fell asleep.


	6. Ch6: An Unfortunate Message

**Pirates of the Caribbean**

**An Officer and a Gentleman**

**Chapter 6: An Unfortunate Message**

All of a sudden Jack suddenly got woken up by a knock on the door. He didn't have a clock, but the sun looked like 11:45 am (it was right) so Captain Jack Sparrow knew he overslept. "Maybe I shouldn't have stayed up so late and visited the king of England," he wondered quietly. He was already dressed because he forgot to put on his pajamas last night so he took a trip downwards on the manor stairwell to see who was at the door.

"G'day, cap'n," said the man outside of the door and he was the mailman. The man inside the door was Captain Jack Sparrow and he said "Good day to you, fine sir, what is the mail?" That was when he gave him it, which was a kidnapping note, which was also from Commodore Norrington. Jack Sparrow immediately knew that Officer Norrington had captured Lashontra Rose away to his secret hideout.

However, Jack Sparrow knew he had to rescue her out of there. So he travelled to the other side of England where the secret hideout was, and went to the secret hideout. By the time he got inside, he discovered that it was shaped like a maze. He spent a long time trying to finish it, maybe even three hours. Once he solved the answer, it turned out to be right, left, right, left, straight, left, right. Then he passed through the entrance to the last door and he got there.

"Ha ha! I have you now, you dirty pirate scum!" claimed Norrington. He was also right, because the door locked itself behind Captain Jack Sparrow. Then, he couldn't escape! So he turned around a quarter of a circle and there was the policeman. "Fight me if you dare!"

Jack noticed a sword waiting next to him at his feet. And then he noticed that the commodore also had one. And a pirate hat too! Together, these notices helped Jack to understand the truth. "Commodore Norrington would appear to be a pirate, I dare say!" realized Jack Sparrow. Plus, he was right.

This led to the most epic fight in the whole story, even more than any of the movies. They were both trying to get to the other one without taking any hits themselves. There were swooshes and thrusts, clings and clangs, dodges and misses, and even a thud. Until suddenly, out of nowhere, James Norringto accidentally dodged left instead of right and his shoulder pushed deep into Jack Sparrow's sword at an angle that also went near his heart. He started bleeding to death.

"I'm sorry." apologized Norrington. "I understand now. Piracy isn't about what's in your blood, it's about what you do. I stole the woman of your dreams and locked her in a secret hideout, and that turned me into a filthy pirate scum. Also, you came to save her, and that made you a gentleman. If anyone deserves my police badge, it's you." And then he died.

Jack Sparrow shed a single tear. He was too manly and amazing to cry more than that. Then he took Officer Norrington's keys out of his pocket and unlocked the next room where Lashontra Rose was in. They hugged each other and kissed a little bit too. Jack started explaining something.

"People are like camouflage lizards. Anyone can change their true colors into different colors. Quite so, for today I fought by the sword and yet mine enemy did call me a gentleman. I changed, he did change as well. In the end, it doesn't even matter what has been done, only what will be, I do say. Commodore James Norrington's death will be remembered as a true hero, may he rest in peace."

Then Jack and Lashontra got married and they all lived happily ever afterwards and James Norrington's spirit lived on too, but not like a ghost.

The End.


End file.
